minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son
(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome
“A Bull-Son, you say?”
Eyes neighboring kingdom and their feeble walls
“Train him for siege combat”
"Have you seen the Minos lad lately? The royal smith did fine work with his new guard armor."
"Oh yes, quite the masterpiece. I imagine Captain Namocles will have his hands full with the lad."
"Oh, to be sure. Namocles will have him on masonry duty if he acts too high and mighty. I only made the mistake once in my day..."
“The Prince has, ah, um, well, you see…”
“Spit it out man”
“He has discovered the Brothel District.”
“The royal coffers can afford an indulgence.”
“You misunderstand sir he’s causing mayhem…”
“He has always been a bit… rambunctious…”
“You misunderstand! The porni have gone mad! They won’t let him leave! They’ve turned on their masters! They’ve started a cult!”
“Oh”
“Yes. They’re, um, worshipping him.”
“That’s my boy!”
*pinches brow*
This is the transhumanist horror story I want to read
Came back wrong but it's. The format this consciousness was first backed up is no longer compatible so some untranslatable characters will now read like extended ascii symbols
Tumblr: No NSFW! You know how it is we banned it because of the bots in 2018!
Also tumblr:
lmao
You know how it is then, folks!
MANUAL BLAZE MODE GO
….am I allowed to say “whovians, grab your TARDISes?” You know how it is.
Tumblr loves doing this. I tried to make a post about the ads that showed actual human penises in them, with screenshots, and it was taken down for violating community guidelines.... unlike the ad, I guess?
funniest adhd thing is when you're like ugh. doing this simple task would be too hard. guess i'll do a difficult one instead
never ask a woman her age, a man his salary, and a gen z trans masc why their name is dave
this is taking me out whoever reblogged with this may god bless ur soul